our big break
there are benefits to being white in mumbai. easy, unquestioning access to high-end social establishments. instant (and sometimes constant) attention from wait staff and street kids alike. regular opportunities to be an extra in a blockbuster bollywood film. if this last example stokes your interest, here’s an excerpt from an email dennis sent to friends and family today. rather than reconstruct our experience myself, i thought it might be good to have a little guest blogger. plus, i’m lazy. here goes…
i’ve garnered a new nickname from my fellow cohort members — dennis “bollywood” haraszko, for no reason other than they find the moniker amusing. jason, kristen, parag and i had the opportunity to be extras in a bollywood movie on sunday. but not just any bollywood movie — “the don” (a bollywood remake of a popular movie of the same name that came out in the 70s (itself a bollywood remake of the godfather)) — a movie expected to be one of the top blockbusters of the year (to be released in october). and not only did we get to be extras on any day, but on the final day of shooting. and not only did we get to be extras, but there’s a good chance that i’ll be visibly prominent for at least a split second in at least one of the shots, because i’m basically standing in between the two leading characters as we all get ready to drink some champagne.
i dunno if you guys know much about bollywood, but the industry is insane. they produce more movies/year than hollywood, and their stars basically maintain the status of gods. the plots are simple, the characters shallow, and the productions formulaic. every bollywood movie contains 6-12 song and dance sequences, and every film has to include at least one scene filmed in the yellow-flowering foothills of the alps in switzerland and a scene in which the female lead finds herself in a wet sari. kissing is not allowed. just a few years ago women baring their shoulders and knees became acceptable (for the indian lead. for the westerners, mini-skirts and skimpy tank tops are fine). even so, the indian leads are becoming more and more scantily clad. but kisses are still taboo. despite all of this, the public loves it. something about being able to know what to expect when they walk in the theatre. not that i get it.
i have no idea how the godfather will be translated into this bollywood remake, but rest assured it will be only remotely similar. as i stated earlier, this remake is expected to be huge, so we lucked into participating in a much-coveted production. it can even be found on IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0461936/
not that the site gives you much information. the leading man (shahrukh khan) is basically the biggest star in bollywood — the equivalent of tom cruise, brad pitt, and harrison ford rolled into one. the leading lady (priyanka chopra) is one of the hottest starlets, and was the lead in krrish (which we just saw on friday). she’s probably the equivalent of someone like kirsten dunst — has been in a few films (including some mega blockbusters) and is generally well liked (though priyanka is much hotter — more like angelina jolie is hot vs. the girl-next-door-ness of kirsten dunst (though not as slutty/sexy as jolie is)). she also just relinquished her crown of miss world. the other main lead was another female, who i hadn’t heard of, but is popular nonetheless (ishaa kopikar).
we were recruited on saturday from the area of town backpackers most often frequent (i.e., colaba). the next morning we left home at about 7:30 to catch the studio bus to the set. long story short, filming didn’t begin until after 2pm, despite them rushing us through costuming and make-up, at which point we sat around for about 4 hours. once filming did begin, it continued until about 10 o’clock at night. one long ass day.
all in all, i think they filmed about 1-2 minutes of footage for the final celebratory dance number. in one shot i was admonished by the director for not smiling enough (hardly my fault, as not once before we started any takes did they instruct the extras as to what they were meant to do). during a few other shots of the same scene i was sprayed with the erupting champagne, only to be descended upon by the make-up team as they corrected the stars’ (and the extras similar doused) champagne-induced make-up malfunctions. i believe if i am on film, i will look decidedly ridiculous.
i could also spend a fair amount of time describing the wardrobe process, but will skip it. in short, they found the most bizarre array of castoffs and ill-timed mismatched era duds to outfit a rag-tag gaggle of street walkers and 80s villains. i will also look decidedly ridiculous due to the 100% polyester medium gray 3-buttoned suit with burnt orange dress shirt and brown tie as i will for the hair-sprayed comb over (a style i’ve not sported since about 4th grade), over-acted expressions on my face, and erratic dance moves.
the movie should be released in october, and i look forward to my 35 milliseconds of fame with baited breath. i found it hilarious that we were shoulder to shoulder with the illuminati of the bollywood film scene by virtue of our western-ness (and kristen’s and my whiteness — originally they didn’t want jason or parag to come along). just two days before we were watching a bollywood film on screen with the latest hot young thing and there i was standing next to her (she even grabbed my elbow at one point (i have to laugh at myself that i included that comment)). and there i was within kicking distance of one of the most consistently bankable bollywood leading males of the past decade. go figure.
i neglected to mention that the whole experience was laboriously tedious, excessively long, and appallingly inefficient. dunno if that was bollywood’s fault or the movie business. but i don’t think i’d like to it again anytime soon. but maybe i would. after all i could use the 500 rupees (about $12), since i didn’t make any money this summer…
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So is Mumbai home of the shiny silver suit? Looking good man. I have to say that I always kind of thought of you as an ideal Fredo for a Bollywood remake of the Godfather.